I’ve been to parties like this, but not with cars.

Let the drivers pull car keys out of a fishbowl to get their identical car

This is 100% the best answer. Good hauling capacity, distinctive character, and very practical for its use. But you’d be lucky to get one for $15,000, much less $5000. But other Van-Pickup conversions might well be possible, so it’s worth exploring.

I suggested a greenbrier! This too would work!

This would do well - long range Leaf driveline into the Kicks or Rogue Sport.

Panthers are cool only if your name is Farva.

$7500 + SBC crate engine = interesting?

...and bring Oprah and her couch in tow, so when you got to the show and peeled off the Jon Voight mask to reveal the Tom Cruise mask and jump up-and-down on the couch screaming, “I’m in love! I’m in love!” while Oprah claps pleasantly while you giving you an awkward round-of-applause, before you peel off the Tom…

Probably the finest example of a 1990 Chrysler LeBaron GT in existence.

Your unfunded mandate is great and all but likely a waste for mostly disposable/expendable commuter appliances.

Simple answer: the nineties are back which means Mitsubishi needs to do a new 3000GT.

Brown is tough to get right, because of the poop association. I like a cognac leather, but given how they’re using it almost as an accent against the black, they need the contrast of tan here

I’ll take tan over black any day. Enough with the black interiors! They’re fucking depressing.

You can find 2011 Leafs for less, but they’re also a gamble. AESC never really nailed the chemistry, and some of them have aged like milk. The pack in the 500e is by Bosch/Samsung and liquid cooled on top of that. I can trust a 500e drivetrain not to be a lemon, but I’d need discharge/capacity data before buying an old…

Days of Lightning. That HAS to be happening at some point.

Lost my ‘01 Tacoma to Hurricane Harvey, but it had 192,000 hassle-free miles. I fully intended on driving that truck for another decade.

Yes. I usually budget 2 grand to get a car in good working order. And that applies to a $500 car or a $10000 car.

I’m a Corvette Indy man, myself.

Two weeks.... Hmmm. That tells me people have looked at it, and said “Uhh, no thanks” and walked away.... And you should too. Crack Pipe. Idiosyncrasies....

My Fiesta ST has a full size spare.