“Character issues.”

It’s a real shame he couldn’t get a ring.

It’s tough to get anyone in Washington to admit to obstruction these days.

Most college coaches look like tubs of lard, so many players would be saved by this rule.

I would KILL to see Rob and Rex Ryan running a 40. Even on their twin motorcycles would be acceptable

At least his son wasn’t stabbing anybody

It’s almost as if THAT was the point of my joke.

Don’t ever tussle with the Ryans. If you give them an inch, they’ll take a foot.

It’s not quite “we shall never surrender,” but each generation has its heroes.

The Mets official spoke on condition of anonymity because the statement from the organization was the team’s only authorized comment.

The worst part is when they got long, greasy, vaguely minty smelling hair in each other’s mouths.

+1 dot-dot-dash

Morse looked like he was there to play peacemaker and get between Strickland and Harper, his old teammate.

Trump is unlikely to get anything done, so crazy is better. The most harm he has done so far is in international relations and I honestly think we will have an easy diplomatic reset in four years and restore them.

The hangup is that Pence might be more able to accomplish terrible things because he wouldn’t constantly be stepping on his own dick. Obviously the concern with Trump is that he’ll do something insane and we’ll all die in nuclear fire. It’s a real catch-22!

If his advisors were smart, they’d make the launch codes something he would never ever say like, “I lost the popular vote,” or “I love Tiffany as much as I do Ivanka.”

This qualifies as a news story? This really is the greatest witch hunt in American hiscoco.

Y’all were worried about Trump tweeting out the nuclear launch codes? Well guess what motherfuckers!

I’m torn because, while I wish a stroke upon Donald Trump, I don’t want Mike Pence to ever be president. Now, a Jeff Sessions stroke is one I’d have no qualms about.

The trump administration doesn’t have the best track record, but picking Peter Gammons as the new social media czar was a good move.