the Apple method:

Apple does not seem to get that I put songs on my phone for a reason. No, I don’t want to stream off the Wi-Fi, no, I don’t want to list to your streaming channel. That’s the whole fucking point of putting songs on my own damn phone.

Omg, it’s so liberating to have zero fucks left. And soooo much fun.

Madonna honey, I’m 64 and I can guarantee I have more fun than you because I’m not trying so hard — plus I’m not as clueless. And I give zero fucks about being relevant. Well, I pretty much give zero fucks about anything. At 64 my life’s supply of fucks to give has run out.

I have read a few different articles written by social-worker types who work in cities that got smart. They’ve proven that it’s cheaper to pay for people to be given housing and support services than to treat them in emergency rooms when they get sick and injured on the streets or put them in prison. Most will get…

Jesus. Maccas is go to for buying a homeless person food - no, I won’t give you cash because drug money, but I will take you to McDonalds or 7-11 and buy you food, water and coffee. Because food. You need food. You also need shelter and not be treated like you’re less than a person, but I don’t have that level of…

I’m kind to everyone. I’m patient, polite, courteous, and cheerful. To everyone, regardless of how they are to me. Being “always on” for some terrible people is wearing and more stressful in the long run than the job itself. Everyone needs an outlet; this is mine.

Christ on a pogo stick, I’ve never read more pretentious writing, and half of my graduate seminars fancy themselves critical theorists.

Because I got angry? Lol. I work in a high stress environment. Either you find ways of unloading stress, or you quit.

I spent 13 years on the phones, and not one single time did someone get helped faster or better because s/he was a giant, loud dick. It’s literally the least productive thing you can do when calling any call center.

Fun fact: “Giving people what they’re willing to pay for.” narrowly lost out to “I’m loving it” when McDonald’s was picking a slogan.

Probably because their mommy and daddy gave in to then when they were being demanding little shits instead of being a damn parent to them.

If someone is loitering on the property, menacing customers, vandalizing, or stealing: those are crimes.

Fuck this shit.

Another (regretfully) true story: During my Fazoli’s days (back at the second location I worked at) we had a guy who was a regular jackass. I hated this guy, because he was a condescending prick, and always had the most pain in the ass special orders he could come up with. So, one night during the week of the Final…

You’re confused that a sandwich should be served on bread? We’re talking about an Arby’s roast beef sandwich with cheddar cheese sauce so it’s supposed to come on a bun. Stupid guys thought it was funny to order one with extra cheese sauce and no bun. After hearing that order multiple times per shift on every shift I…

The bit about American tourists in Canada reminds me of the time a pair of them came up to the counter of the bakery in the grocery store I worked at and asked me where our beer was. I was a little confused. “Do you mean, like... a liquor store?” They both looked at me like I was stupid and reiterated that they wanted…

Eh, there’s a difference there. I mean, Whopper is a specific trademarked menu item at a competitor. “Large” is a common adjective. I mean, if you’re being a dick and making a show about avoiding their bullshit terminology (my bias is showing, isn’t it?), then, well, yeah. You’re being a dick. (Albeit, a totally…

“how am i supposed to eat my french fries?”

When I was in high school, some local, road-side hotel decided to convert their restaurant to a Chinese buffet. They called the high school to see if there were any “Chinese girls who would like a job.” Damn it. I was the only Chinese girl in the school, and actually, yeah, I wanted another job because college was…