Yesterday there were parents with toddlers that were literally letting their kids learn how to climb stairs. Like one pass up and down the flights would have been no problem but they did it for HOURS. They seriously thought that the servers carrying 60 lbs of drinks upstairs would be SO CHARMED by waiting on their…

So, down here in the land of Oz, I came home from my midnight shift feeling utterly dispirited because my boss decided yesterday to publicly humiliate me by berating me for something which wasn't my fault in front of not only the entire staff but a whole bunch of customers as well. I was lying in bed, slightly tipsy…

Then don't consider it defending Madonna - instead, defend women everywhere who just want to continue living their lives and being their fabulous selves no matter how much they age. I think some of these criticisms stem from a fear of aging - if older women cover up, younger women don't have to be reminded that they,…

Question: How old are you? Do you possess even 1/100th the talent Madonna has, or do you even remotely think you’ll possess that talent when you reach her age? Jesus, I’m sick of ageist assholes who think that once you hit a certain number, you should just crawl off to a rocking chair on a porch someplace and wait to…

I'm always torn between thinking she should do a Dietrich and retire to leave the memory of her perfect and thinking that she's worth celebrating because she doesn't give a single fuck what we in the public want or expect.

Shhh, child. She *made* millennial culture to a very great extent - whatever you think you can claim, she probably did it first. She's never played by the same rules as everyone else, and that includes coming up with her own definition of mid-fifties life. Be happy she exists rather than resenting her for - what?…

As a server in one of the better restaurants in a major city- let me tell you that these restaurants DETEST bachelorette parties and that we groan inwardly as soon as we see them walk through the dining room with their tiaras and sashes. We fully expect (and get!) high maintenance tables with a low tab and 10%…

I mean this sincerely: there is no way to say the phrases "I will argue against the servers" and "think these servers need to suck it up," without being an AWFUL human being.

Fuck Yelp sideways with an non-lubricated porcupine.