Yeah, much better that a team maybe lose on a blown call than everyone chill for a few minutes before losing their shit.

Someone should build a wall around that island before those savages come swarming over in their potato boats and destroy American civilization.

This not a surprise. Most pundits predicted that this flight would not go the distance.

Thank you for flying Aer Dingus.

It’ll be the ivory trade of the future.

Well, keeping out the poor has long been a goal for townships such as these

“Chucklefucks” is my new favorite word.

“Off the field issues” aka being black.

If only they could all be like Will

The only thing that matters here is whether Heyward would “opt out” of enjoying Chicago’s world-renowned restaurants and performing arts to hang out with St. Louis chucklefucks, or whether he would forego millions of dollars to avoid the so-called “best fans in baseball.”

You’re definitely smart enough to realize this and just didn’t want it to get in the way of the trolling, but for all the readers who aren’t:

It’s all fun and games until you get to...you know

This is just a facade. Gibson knew that if he retaliated he would forever be known as the man who punched a little diva on national television.

8 in the box? That’s usually WAY more than $60.

Louisville did it the right way - keep it in-house, not out-house.

Hey, what do you expect? He’s a defensive guy!

He just jumped to #1 on Jerry Jones draft board (and heart).

The absolute best part of this is that he had $100 but not $60. Meaning he probably had a $100 bill. Which no one just has, it’s exclusively given as a gift from grandparents and rich relatives.

That’s unusual. Normally you get ejected from a Ford when it rolls over.

This sounds like any run-of-the-mill Too Raw Sports Dad story