You can’t “steal” a QBing job. You win it through hard work. It’s not like it’s a crab leg.

I could not breathe for a couple of seconds when I saw that picture of him. Fitzpatrick was already entertaining more on the field than Winston ever did, but now he is also doing stuff like this off-field?

Nice of the team to let Homeless Conor McGregor answer some questions.

Cryptkeeper Al Davis is so, so, soooooo stupid, and yet I laugh my ass off reading it in the Cryptkeeper’s voice, which is the whole point.

And that Dez Phantom of the Opera thing is a thing that needs to happen in real life.

“Great Moments in Poop History” eventually just became “Long, Boring & Fake Stories About Pooping”

Where the fuck did “Great Moments in Poop History” go?!?! Are you trying to distance yourself from poo stories? Fun Bag has been lacking poop in the Email of the Week section as well.

Sadly Rose was like the Wolves’ best player in that fart in the wind of a series against the Rockets. But I think this Deng signing reaches a new low - I legitimately thought he had retired, but no, he just has played 13 MINUTES since March of the 2016-17 season despite being fully healthy. Just take a skim of this…

“... more like the wind-scattered bones of a desert skeleton, assembled on a tarp by a deranged archaeologist.”

Thibodeau is doing a Christmas Carol, ghosts of basketball future/scared straight thing and I dig it.

Except for the Carolina Panthers WYTS.  This only has 50% more floral prints than anything involving Cam Newton.

This is my favorite cross over ever. All of the hate and vitriol of WYTS, with 100% more floral prints. Perfection. *insert loud, Italian, finger kisses here

I think, between this and the annual Williams-Sonoma catalog review, we have learned that Drew needs to do more catalog reviews.

God...he’s such an orange piece of shit. It absolutely boggles my mind how the “hardcore base Americans” think he’s great, even while he pulls shit like this which is so so SO obviously anti-american.

He should call the Corona Hotline and see if they know the answer....

Dude signed a $100 million contract but can't shell out $4 for some Coppertone.

I think the thing about writing a negative Yelp review is not to be ranty about it. If I see phrases like “worst meal I’ve EVER had” or “completely disgraceful”, I tend to think the person is exaggerating, entitled, and/or a pain in the arse. But if I saw a review that just laid out the facts in a reasonable way (“the…

If the service sucked, by all means write a Yelp review.

On the other hand, if you went to a restaurant and the service was awesome... write a Yelp review too. 

Damn, Luol Deng deserved better than to be a punchline for the Great NBA Cap Splurge.

Players who are regulars under Thibs age in dog years.

He’s only 31? With how often his name comes up on shit, I feel like he’s been hobbling around the league for 20 years.