They need to hire Drunk Ovechkin for the head coaching job

Just to recap:

Those are all good questions.

Our elected officials were supposed to be crafting some reasonable regulations, but they’re too busy playing partisan circle-jerk and chasing the votes of people we should be ignoring.

In the meantime, what the United States is doing right now is wrong. Even if it is the law (and that is…

Wrong style of beer. Should have made a sour

The whitest part of this story is that the lawyer bought the ticket on Expedia.

Jesus Christ, his pecs look like my pre-reduction breasts...

When I read the headline I was hoping for this:

Did his new left bicep just grow over the tat that was there??

If you don’t love me at my

That’s absolutely a Russian sex doll.

He didn’t even give him head pets. I do not like that baseball man.

I went to the Eagles championship parade (they even cancelled grad school for that one!) and, dear lord, NOT CHILD APPROPRIATE.

Depends solely on context. I am 40 years old and I live in Kansas City. It took decades to eventually concede to it, but I had finally made peace with the fact that I’d never be able to celebrate a major championship in my life. Sure, I guess I had the ‘85 Royals, but being a 7-year-old when it happened means I have…

You should have waited a year and taken your kids to watch the joint Russian/North Korean military parade down Pennsylvania Ave.

i’m a bills fan, so...

I know how it feels. Everyone who says “I can’t imagine” is correct—you can’t. I hope Bode Miller and is family can find peace. It’s been one year and twenty-five days since my 16 year old son died and I haven’t yet. I don’t think I ever will.

They are living the nightmare of every parent with a young child. I am so sorry for them.

Yeah, wasn’t he the one who flunked them because they didn’t take a running back? That was the fucking stupidest take I’d ever heard outside of politics until this one.

Funny you should mention that, but it sounds like what Patricia is doing is in fact in violation of the Geneva Convention. The use of collective punishment is considered a war crime.

BREAKING: Man who spends his life sitting in front of a keyboard feels that physical exertion should be against the Geneva Convention.