“I said, ‘I’m not big on school,’ and I will back that up,” he says.

true story: when i was in high school i was a ball boy for the chiefs. a couple weeks into camp i felt like i was close with a couple of the guys so i casually asked johnnie morton “johnnie, where did you go to school at?” he replied in a completely serious tone “one where we don’t use prepositions at the end of our…

I'm from the south so I know how devastating it is getting the clap from cousins.

There are guys like this walking around, and fucking Rudy is the guy they make a movie out of.

I played beer pong with Justin Tuck in college at ND as he lived down the hall from us. He hit every cup he threw at, but he wouldn’t throw randomly - he would (1) ask who was drinking on the opposing team, (2) if you were thirsty (always) and (3) which cup you’d prefer to drink. He then hit that cup every damn time.…

Only an asshole would complain about shortcuts and say U instead of YOU.

Straight Up.

this joke would have been funnier if it had been told 10 years ago

Way to spoil the surprise for your nephew, James. Now he knows exactly what kind of institutional racism is in store for him.

Suspend It Like Beckham

yeah but Joe Buck didn’t call the Raiders/Bengals game

John Mara, what are you doing on Kinja?

For a split second I thought Tim Roth just really let himself go.

I saw the picture and I was like, “Wow... Tim Roth looks a lot different than I remembered.”

Why is there a picture of Gérard Depardieu?

Drew Magary Status:

Lazy Blogger. Obviously Depardieu should have been in Reservoir Dogs.

A Chinese guy once told me something like that, said “All you caucasians look alike to me.”

white actors look alike