can I have one that already has money in it? because that would be a great way to start my day.

Nothing wrong with drinking wine in your pjs at 3PM as along as the right amount of chocolate and old movies are included. Sounds like my plans for my first day off in weeks. NO CLOTHES! NO CHORES! NO REAL FOOD (except for takeout pizza)

First off, I’m relieved this lady will not suffer permanent damage. That’s a small blessing. I had a hard time wrapping my head around this: she had both super glue and eye drops in her purse? And her friend picked the wrong one? That seemed incredibly unlikely. But then there’s this:

NooooOOOOOO

I’m screaming.

My mom did the same kind of thing in Baskin Robbins. My sister and I were arguing, and she turned to everyone in the store and belted out the lyrics to “Black Velvet” at the top of her lungs. No joke, all it took from then on was saying “knock it off or I’ll start singing.” We never acted up in public again.

What I got from this article is that someone willingly married Jason Sudeikis. Will wonders never cease?

Hell, I’m for married people keeping separate residences. Probably why I’m not married yet. I was talking to my co-worker about it and she said, “Well, it helps if you like the person.”

Honestly, I only want to hang out with people drinking wine at 3 in the afternoon. PJs preferred, but not required.

So I lived in LA briefly and although I never drove drunk, I could see how it happened more than I expected. Since you drive literally *everywhere* it’s just like, “oh well I came from work and I drove to the bar and now I’m drunk and if I leave my car overnight the valet will tow my car”. They don’t really make it…

Agreed.

Agree. (but perhaps not as enthusiastically) ;)

Because it’s awesome.

Is it completely wrong of me that most times a celebrity gets a DUI (unless is Lindsay Lohan) I think is just a publicity stunt? Like a dangerous and reckless yet simple way to get attention from the press? I just can’t believe there are SO MANY rich idiots, it has to fucking be on purpose!

If that’s the case I guess it means we aren’t alone! More wine, please!

I don’t know why I like cats taking out babies.

Hey, stop staring into my windows! <glugh>

I’m thinking that “Should Married People Keep Separate Bank Accounts?” might be an eternal question?

Shit, I’d be happy to admit it if I were alone drinking wine in my jammies at 3:00 p.m. That sounds perfect.

Poor Jeb. This is just begging for an SNL sketchcom where Laura Bush is just off camera telling him where to stand like a kid on first day of school.