I had an amazing dorm room one year of college. It was a single with a sink (a “sinkle,” as it were). I peed in my lovely sink several times throughout the year, sometimes when drunk, sometimes when not wanting down the hall to the bathroom in the middle of the night. I just made sure to wash it well the next morning.

BH is kind of a boring area, but at least the parts closer to Wilshire and Santa Monica Blvd are right on top of some fucking awesome restaurants. Plus there’s a Saks and a Barneys right there and a bunch of other fun boutiques and crap. But yeah, $25 million budget? Mid-century modern in the bird streets above the…

You can’t be serious, can you? I have never and would never pee in a sink unless I were imprisoned or something.

If I were rich, I would donate to everything. Donating is more gratifying than even the best pair of shoes. Good on you, Tay.

I’d rather take a tub, if there’s waiting and we’re in a full bathroom.

Mine too! I would probably have been way more interested in attending if there were themes but also probably not because theme parties are only fun if everyone's really drunk

Fucking twenty years later, I still occasionally have nightmares about going to school.

I was head of the prom committee my junior year. I set up the room, checked in the caterers and photographers, confirmed the guest list, then went home, had a glass of wine, and spent the night reading a book with my cat. Senior year, I had a hot boyfriend, so we just hung out and had a bunch of…

Prom on my junior year seemed to be the last year guys had to get a tux shirt that matched their date’s dress. I wore a dove gray tux with a lavender “ruffle” tux shirt. Oh yeah, Boss. Senior year everyone was in black and white. It was on the Queen Mary, which was pretty cool.

What’s your best “Invited to the Sock Hop” story?

Yeah. I’m ten years younger than this lady, and the very idea of spending that much time with a 23-yr-old dude [who reads The Secret, ffs) is just uuuuuggggh. And one who writes “anywho” instead of the PROPER, CORRECT “anyhoo”? Helllll no.

I once had a string of wrong number texts from multiple different people. One was setting up a homework session; I told them I’d bring snacks. I hope someone brought snacks

I hope she grows up and decides to change her name and yells at her parents “I’m not Josey Dorsey anymore!”

Can we talk about J.Lo for a moment? I know nobody cares about my stupid boner (deservedly so), but man oh man she just keeps getting more gorgeous. I always hear outrageous stuff that she slathers herself in creams that cost $10,000 an ounce that are made from angel farts and unicorn tears and I get annoyed, then I…

Matt Damon, stop talking. Just stop.

I’m imagining that he set his camera on Stonehenge and set the timer for the picture. I don’t know why that makes me giggle.

T-Pain is All of Us.

our mini wiener eats my foam earplugs. I have to wear them cos the other dog snores so loud. I have picked up so many poops with entire earplugs in them >.<