If you don't want people making assumptions about your marriage, don't present "a lot of the reason" you're married as your dick sucking ability.

Cats did not find that amewsing.

Is that really "so many"??

... Did you just reply to yourself and star your own comment?

Flashing yellow turn arrow, btw, is one of the greatest ideas of all time. I wish all states implemented this. I've only seen it in NC and TX.

Got a light or can I just use your Ferrari?

And we're done here... Nothing else to say, Newegg wins.

Vote: Newegg

haha! Nuttage.

My dog escaped the yard last week. I chased him all over the block, with no shoes. He wouldn't come until I came out with a package of salami.

My dog went into the kitchen once, pulled out an empty chili container from the trash and brought it back to us. She plopped down in front of us and started to work on licking out the chili leavings. Like "HOW YOU GUYS DOIN'; I GOT CHILI." When we tried to take it from her she was like "EXCUSE ME, ASSHOLES THAT IS…

Cats show their belly as a sign of trust. For example, my cat will show me his belly, but try to eat my hand/kick it with his hind legs as if I'm a mouse if I attempt to rub him on his belly. The trust only goes so far.

My cat would murder me in my sleep if I even thought about doing this to her. The noise from the video was enough for a scowl.

Yeah that mondeo was a pretty solid car....trolololol

Tell me about it. Its just like George Carlin where he points out that hypocrisy. (**Warning**: VERY, VERY NSFW language):

As a bonus, it's hilarious and adorable to hear my two year old say "Hi Penis!" when I change his diaper in the morning.

We've always used the proper terms with our kiddo (I'm a biologist, I'm not going to call it a wee-wee or a hoo-haa or whatever). She was then told by other kids she was saying "bad words." Her teacher started to tell her not to say those and she proudly said "My mommy says those are the right words and not to use…