Are these all the things she said?

I do like how everyone scatters when the cop opens the door.

TL;DR:

Team Cat Headquarters here,

He isn't even posing with a particularly impressive German beer. Is it weird that that annoys me? If you're going to pose with beer and balance three women, you better be able to go full Dos Equis man.

But don't ask me. What do you think of his execution here, Dos Equis man?

If you're really into the unlimited peanuts thing with shells you can throw on the floor, just go to Five Guys. You can do that there, too.

What about you, how did you react to the news that Microsoft bought Mojang? Let us know in the comments.

Here is the advice I gave my younger (by 12 years) sister, that I wish I had gotten:

Get it - REACHing?

We are so not unicorns. I banged many dudes and have no regrets at all.

My mother on premarital sex said "You wouldn't buy a car with out test driving a few first!!" Our mothers are really into making sure we have good transportation.

I was a pretty good slut back in the day and now I just tell people they retired my number.

My mother's advice was that I should ride a few stallions before I pick one. I think she was slightly bummed when I married the only stallion I'd ever ridden.

This on your blog is the best: http://onlinedatingisliterallytheworst.tumblr.com/post/964067067…

I may have exaggerated the extent of my romantic involvement with Idris Elba.

Confession to my Facebook and Instagram followers: I've never actually eaten food.

WHILE I DOG PORK YOU

This guy (this is a screenshot of a message to me) needs to meet her. I bet they have loads in common.

Whatever happened to letting people find out you're crazy the old-fashioned way?