I have a theory of Jay and Bey's relationship (even though I have never met them and have no actual knowledge of their relationship. Frankly, though, I would love to be in Bey's circle of girlfriends. That being said

When my Pumpkin was alive it was tuna water for her and that little bitch was fussy as hell about her tuna water. The moment she heard the automatic can opener start she would run into the kitchen as if her fur had been set on fire. If I didn't leave her some of that water in the can she would be mighty upset with me.…

guys fuck off I have to get these rockets to Ukraine ASAP

No one actually talks in Titanfall. Everyone just uses Party Chat.

My owners are the worst.

I'm getting a "What do mean you don't like my fucking deviled eggs? Huh, we're out of wine?" Thanksgiving vibe from her.

I don't need a GPS to find the party, because the party is right.fucking.here.

Textbook definition of the resting bitch face

18 years for me and I've only worn an anti-static strap once as a joke.

huggernaut. haha.

Ok, this is totally inappropriate, but in respsonse to your question about hugging people to death, I have to throw an anecdote out there:

"What kind of monster do you have to be to not only hug someone so hard but just continue doing it as the person struggles to breathe?"

Same here, I use a work bench in the garage. Not a lot of worries about static on concrete floors and rubber soled shoes.

3. The anti-static strap.

My god, I do hate this part...

Plus he is the only character more annoying that Piper on OITNB.

Did someone say Barracuda?

So fucking glad my dog is not a snuggler for once. It usually makes me sad. He really likes to be near me and will easily pass out in my armpit when I'm sitting down, but is mostly like I'LL JUST SIT BY YOUR FEET.

My husky mutt (50 lbs) does this. I will let him in the bedroom in the morning and he jumps onto my husband and lays around his neck like a scarf, burying his head up under arms, legs, necks, sheets. The harder that you insist he stay out of your face, the more adamant he becomes that it is the only place he can…

My cats would never go for this because, duh, they know what an honor it is for me to be their personal butler.