Cocoa Pebbles yields much more delicious and superior cereal milk than Cocoa Puffs. It is known.

uummm...it amazes me how uninformed publicly educated kids are these days. There’s a huge difference between this and the Garland situation. Republicans were and are still the M-A-J-O-R-I-T-Y in the Senate. That is the body responsible for giving their blessing on a nominee. Now try to follow this.....with…

Chef: MY MOM

“See ya later, instigator!”

*takes a deep drag on his cigarette*
We all are

James Franco is already set to star as the crawfish in the film adaptation.

Perhaps—just spitballing here—if Subway didn’t SUCK, they’d be doing better.

“Strider told me I have the plague.”

“Horton, Here’s a Poo!”

A predecessor is somebody who comes before. A successor is somebody who comes after.

I heard Andre The Giant and Haystacks Calhoun and your dad went into a restaurant and ate all the food in the restaurant and they had to close the restaurant

Hey! My late grandma ate dry toast! You shut your peanut-butter-and-banana eating pie-hole!

Obligatory:

MAMA MIA! THAT’S A PRICEY MEATBALL!

Sigh, but no gummy Venus de Milo?

It is! Everyone’s been so nice! They told me I was so cool and I totally knew what I was talking about!

In the national championship game, Alabama will play Georgia, who will also have had one week to recover and prepare for the game.