I’m not going to jump to any conclusions until I have all the facts, but it appears that Eisenhauer made two mistakes. The first is that he senselessly and maliciously murdered a 13 year old girl. The second is that he did not attempt to run from the police.

No matter how old he got, the moment he smiled, it’s like all the years melted away. Like this photo was taken a few days before his death. (By Iman, no less.) What a fantastic smile.

It actually frightens me how within the past year I am no longer terrified of babies, and am now simply indifferent towards them.

I bet they have a pickpocket monkey living in their crawspace. That seems the most logical explanation to me.

That is weird. I wonder if there is a portal at their house that leads to the world of lost phones.

for some reason this reminds me of that part in Harry Potter when all the spiders leave Hogwarts and swarm into the woods so what I’m saying is these people probably have a massive iSpider in their basement and should probably contact Steve Jobs for help via seance.

I think it’s okay to offend adults when children are involved. No child deserves to be treated like a learning experience for an adult who isn’t competent.

Does this one qualify as a conspiracy? I thought this was sort of established at this point. (I’m also an idiot so I may be way off on this)

That William Randolph Hearst had congress make weed illegal so that the hemp paper mills had to shut down and all the newspaper companies had to buy his wood-pulp paper.

Well, that was fucking abusive.

Maybe Trump and Cruz will have an old fashioned sword duel to win Palin’s fancy and take each other out.

I don’t think I would call her an idiot. If she fell off the wagon, got into a fight with friends and as a result was highly emotional, she probably wasn’t in her right mind. Maybe she made a stupid irrational decision but I don’t think its fair to call her an idiot. Have a little compassion please.

Anne Hathaway: “Not sure why you’re all hating on JLaw. Remember me? I’m waaaaaaay more annoying.”

Seriously though, we’ve got to bring back and improve home economics. What would you teach? That should be the discussion here.

Huzzah for the parents.

NBC also filmed themselves knocking on the door of the young woman’s family apartment

Meanwhile, the tontine is down to Keith Richards, Ringo Starr, Bob Dylan and Leonard Cohen.

I’m going to ignore the first two stories, because ew, but can I just say how impressed I am with Amandla? Talk about living up to your name. I hope my kid grows up to be half as wise and aware at that age.

waiting.