I recommend lesbianism.

She’s mainlining it as we speak, bless her.

she probably got banned from SB and found a different joint to curb her caramel withdrawal

I am looking to hire cooks and waitstaff for my newest restaurant - Punchie’s This Is How We Serve It.

I read every one of these - and there were definitely some gems - but I just flat-out can’t get over putting jelly on pizza, let alone asking for it like it’s not completely insane.

“whom we all called Caramel Lady. ”

bc she’s actually in love with Karlie Kloss

It’s like he’s too afraid to ask someone to kill him.

At least we will always have

Noelle is a genius. I would have never figured out that the guy was freaking out over the sharpie smell.

Nerd alert: He played Jojen Reed on Game of Thrones.

And now he’s a mystical seer haunted by visions of his own demise.

Attention all news outlets:

There’s always money in the banana stand.

I rarely say this about people. But she deserves all the bad karma that is heading her way right now. That video was so mean and vicious, it actually made me cry. I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. And like so many women with the disease, I struggle with my weight. It’s like I woke up in a different body. I went from…

I just watched about 30 seconds of the video and not only is she terribly unfunny, she’s also manic and annoying as hell.

FIFY...

Your one month old baby just drank a shot and a half of vodka and your first reaction is to beat up the mother?

The complaint said he continued to yell at her, threw a bottle at her, pushed her and grabbed her by the neck so hard she was unable to speak.