Does “be cool” involve recreating the Spanish Inquisition sketch? Because this should happen.

I bet his children are ashamed of their Disney villain piece of shit dad. I hope he knows that.

People tell me that the “Model Minority” stereotype is harmless.
I think this present case is a good example of why that notion is wrong.

“Do you make your sandwiches with bread?”

But, no public outcry re: endemic violence on women? Lone white males who shoot up public spaces every couple days? White male serial killers? No? Still big scary black men are the problem? Oh, and sassy black women. And slutty women in general. Legal abortion, that’s our problem.

I am a bit phobic about air travel. I’m the spazzy person who white knuckles the arm rest and goes into meditative breathing anytime the captain mentions it’s time to buckle up because we have some turbulence ahead. But twice now I have been seated next to the only person on the plane who was more afraid to fly than I…

My boob.

The Worst Thing You’ve Ever Seen on an Airplane...

eating a salad as a full meal is like eating whispers

At seven, my daughter just noticed that I have pubes, and we used to shower together all the time (only way I could shower when she was a toddler). Like holy crap, you used to be eye level with my business! Anyway, she very excitedly told her dad and the dog, while I laughed until I cried.

We got married at the Mutter Museum which is filled with parts of dead people; does that count?

A relationship borne out of infidelity has pretty high odds of not lasting. Why? If they are willing to cheat with you, they are willing to cheat on you.

Getting screwed metaphorically and literally!

Here comes an awful Mr Hyde story.

What’s the name for someone who gets drunk but spends the whole time thinking about how to act sober and takes care of everyone else because God forbid anyone think they’re drunk?

Yay sobriety and recovery!

Sadly, I am a Mr. Hyde, which is why I checked myself into rehab more than 8 years ago and haven’t had a drink since....

Yes, it takes a lot of courage to criticize strangers on the internet. You’re so brave, Zelda.

I have a lot of respect for people who rescue animals, but this story is why I just can't do it.

I have the feeling that there are enough Iron Shiek stories out there to do a BCO just on him. He's like the definition of performance art.