You want a dress made of all-natural, eco-friendly materials.

Nothing says "I do" like a bridegroom with a boner.

Okay, you guys, it's over. We've been out-lentilled.

Do guests have to bring their own monogrammed thermoses too?

If you wanna cut down on fabric, go with the hotpants dress.

The invitations to my November 2001 wedding were mailed on September 10, 2001. The wedding venue? Windows on the World.

Generic head-scarves are totally non-sectarian. ;)

why would they make a shark costume white and gold?

YESSSS!! I posted the other day about how they bought a bunch of toys from the sex shop where I work and I didn't end up seeing any of them in the show — so glad they released this! Still no sign of the sparkly dildo the size of my forearm but I recognize almost everything else.

The allergy one makes me remember yet again why my brother and sister-in-law have a fondness for Disney.

I was once in a "fancy" Chinese restaurant in Chicago for my birthday and they had just waxed the floors. EVERYONE was falling down. Servers, customers, everyone. It was bizarre and hilarious. The management was losing their minds over how many meals they were comping. I wiped out before I even got to my table. My…

My husband describes the whole two hour experience as if the entire staff had never been inside of a restaurant before and had no idea how typical restaurant experiences were supposed to work. Or drugs.

My best pickup wasn't even mine. It was my kid's.

My husband and I met in grad school and didn't hit it off immediately. We got stuck in the same miserable class together on Monday nights. It talked about music history, and one night the instructor went on an endless ramble about Schubert's "syphilis attacks" and kept saying the nonsense phrase "syphilis attacks"…

Oh, and

Newly single, I ran into this hot guy I was acquainted with at a bar after my band played a show. I was like "Hey, I know you. What's your name again?"

He told me his name and my next question was "Wanna go make out in your car?"

It was a glorious summer day in drawing class so we all went out to the historical cemetery on campus to sketch. I was wearing a red sundress and I decided that I really wanted to get the attention of this one guy I'd been checking out all term.

No, that was Geoffrey.

We judge each other a lot by our homes and judge each other's class position by our homes; homes are a symbol of our class..

I just moved from California to the UK. Its cold like I've never experienced before! I always need something on my ears, otherwise they start to ache with the cold. Still on the search for cute and warm ear muffs :(