I like seeing North wearing clothing that the power of advertising taught me isn't toddler-wear. If I didn't see it on a baby on tv or in a catalog (where I was being told to buy it), I know it's wrong! You see, companies that make babies' clothes are obsessed with ensuring the babies' comfort (definitely not making…

taylor and karlie but like duh

It actually ended up working out for the best but...

My aunt is very much a free-spirit. She is also very much a fan of white wine. These two factors collided during her son's wedding, when she stripped down and went streaking back and forth across the massive picture windows of the wedding reception venue. Then she ran into the water to "cleanse the blessed union" and…

I was correctively raped as a result of being asexual. He was going to "fix" me.

Her hair is stop you in your tracks gorgeous

It's all right when it's all-white.

Icicles pointing straight at ur face when you open the front door??? Icicles just hanging there minding their own business are one thing, but those are downright confrontational.

"Jezebel approved" is determined by barometric pressure readings somewhere over Lake Michigan.

"I wanted to marry you or have you adopt me"

Bad thing: He killed a guy with a trident.

Vito Barbieri from Idaho,

Wat.

Just like the old saying goes: "A way to a man's heart is through his stomach. A way to a woman's stomach is through her vagina. Or was it heart? I can't remember. Anyway, vagina."

I wonder what his stance is on aborting watermelon babies and if he supports education to teach our youth not to swallow seeds.

Well, that IS unfortunate. While I don't agree with everything you said, I agree with the important stuff, and the whole ceremony last night made me feel dirty. Frankly, I'm glad you dissected the segment with Spencer and the box, as it was painfully embarrassing to watch — and not just because it was condescending…

Perhaps other than Three 6 Mafia taking home the Best Song award in 2006, this was inarguably the blackest moment in the history of the Oscars.

Wowwwww, someone must have turned up the contrast, because the greys are looking exceptionally white today. Sorry for your hurt fee-fees, my people, but you'll just have to go home and cry on your piles of money that you got because you were lucky enough to be born white men.

As a Californian, I only eat free range linguinis grown in our offshore Linguini farms.

fungusy and afraid of the light.