Two sounds from hockey need to be on the list:

most exciting thing to happen in Evanston, Ill. since, well, ever.

Nothing on the non-trade of Anthony for Love? Okay, here’s my take:

No shit.

Exept that the Cards actually win the World Series from time to time. Notre Dame haven’t been good for years. In the SEC or even (shudder) the Big 10, they’re mediocre to terrible.

The fact that this does not have more stars is a travesty.

It’s actually NOT the type of crime that is at issue, but his religion and/or ethnicity (see McVeigh, Timothy).

Somehow read that as “knitted sepulcher.” Kind of disappointed.

Because nothing says “America” like forced displays of patriotism.

No, no, no. With that construction she takes far too much responsibility.

So you’re Matthew McConaughey’s character from Dazed and Confused?

I was going to say Die Hard V, but sure.

And Baylor will throw six figures at the guy to make the suit go away so they can keep it all under wraps.

Going to embrace God’s plan...and accept the six-figure ‘community relations’ position with the Braves. (For a guess.)

This is logical but false assumption. When the IDF stopped allowing soldiers to take their guns home on the weekends, suicides dropped by 40%. Suicide is often a spur of the moment act, and without ready access to firearms, it’s much harder to pull off. (Link to NIH study about IDF below.)

Unsalted almonds? Eeeew.

Irritable dad with a Ph.D. Does that count?

Pretty sure this is a moonbat from the Quizno’s subs ad. Or at least a close relative.

That’s how I read it, and wasn’t surprised.

I turned it on right as Choo got hit, sat there slack-jawed until the final out. That was a good inning.