If it's got a vegetable on it, it counts as a vegetable!

One of the most baffling parts of my divorce (and there were many) was that I found out his secret affair credit card, which he used to purchase his secret affair clothing, was from Kohls. KOHLS.

As someone who was a self-hating curly haired girl, and spent THOUSANDS of dollars on chemically straightening my hair, before I got poor (see: graduate school), I probably would have appreciated a curly hair girl club. I can't even tell you how many years and tears were wasted hating my hair and wishing it was…

A quote from my beloved late grandmother after my grandfather died.

I'm in a similar situation, so similar it sounds like you live in my town. I don't think my son is upset that I'm not home after school (he loves his afterschool program and most of hsi friends are in it with him) but he definitely notices, even at 7, that other people have bigger houses and more "stuff." It's a…

I just don't trust any religion regardless of what kind. I give it the super side eye.

I'd invite you but there is no way in hell I am doing a stupid, fucking bouquet toss.

Summer childcare is some gangster mafia shit... GS Camp all the way!!

It's so hard to tell where the drive for ratings ends and the genuine bigotry begins.

But how was she supposed to respond? "Fuck ya I have a rockin' bod." There's no way she comes out of that not looking like an asshole.

I was at a zone committee meeting on Monday and there was this woman who was at the center of controversy because she was renting out rooms in her house but not following zoning ordinances. The committee was discussing whether to draft new requirements or just disallow renting altogether. When this lady came up to…

Also, did God really needs a solid hour to explain to her that she's an asshole? And, why did God have to be the one to break the news to her? It's like having your fly undone, yet your friends are too polite to let you know, so you end up finding out hours later! Couldn't someone she knows just discretely lean in and…

*gasp*

I'd be more worried about the Beyoncenati coming for me, if I were you.

Not just that, but some of the writers get absolutely snippy if you criticize the Kardashians, or suggest that maybe becoming another branch of US Weekly isn't a worthy goal.

LOL 'daily basis'....yeah right. And yeah, I've "heard of" hip hop and I actually remember when every hip hop song WASN'T about giant buttcheeks.

Third circle of hell that place is. Cropped, fringed, studded, with glitter, all of it. But it's so 2013. It's all about the baby Lululemon now. http://www.ivivva.com/

A likely story.

It's one thing to get bad liposuction but this is your fucking EYES

Yeah, I do sometimes get the "oh, you eat things with fat and real sugar" or "oh, you still eat BREAD?!" from her. It's infuriating. Yes, I drink full fat milk, eat lots of eggs, eat REAL butter not margarine, and I love full fat cheese. I also put olive oil on things. Fat and protein are good and totally okay if…

Okay, this might be unpopular, and I understand if you ignore it. But I really dislike this post. Like, a lot.

I got married a year ago, and at the time I found there to be quite a bit of anti-wedding bias on the Jezebel editorial staff; a good deal of the wedding-related posts were mocking traditions or, worse,…