Shh...

Dear terrible parents, If you have babies and don’t want them, please contact me. I have space for three and every intention of changing diapers, feeding regularly, and generally giving a crap.

This is the kind of conspiracy theory I can support. No one would have cared about this stupid pageant otherwise so I'm inclined to believe this.

Your kitties are smarter than that, they will take out life insurance THEN eat your corpse

I assume my cats would be the culprits in that, but then I figure they’d rather eat my corpse instead.

See this is what proves that these people do not actually give one single shit about babies. If they really truly cared about “saving babies” they would be campaigning tirelessly for social programs that would help needy mothers.

For someone who is supposedly so privileged, he has really awful taste in food. I mean, you can get so much amazing cuisine in Mexico, and you go for fucking Dominoes? That makes me hate him even more, and I didn’t even think that was possible.

She’s pushing 60 and her character has spent the last 3+decades trying to hold a galaxy together. Something is wrong with her face?

1. Carrie Fisher is fucking awesome and people need to stop hurting her and her 3 feelings.

The girl I nanny and I go to the mall to use their free play area on cold days.

Well, *that* escalated quickly.

There was one priest that let us throw a beach ball during mass in high school. It was all good until it hit the altar. The altar was fine. He wasn’t invited back.

My church is screwed then. Our priests do this stuff pretty often. I can see if this was during a Lenten or Easter Mass, which are more solemn occasions, but GEEZ Arch Bishop of Manila. Make like Elsa & Let It Go! It's Christmas!

The dead end was frustrating, because, as a fat feminist, I was hungry to find out who the original poster could be so I could then eat them.

His face is so goddamn punchable and the facial hair just makes it worse.

Like, with a Jedi robe, couldn’t you totally picture that dog in the new Star Wars?

Ah, here is the appropriate thread for this. Official Christmas tee,

My mom bitched, and moaned and complained before I even started to make the dinner. She bitched and moaned the whole time I was making it, until I yelled at her to get out of the kitchen.

He’s the Peeta. He can be her supportive rock while she saves the universe.