If one more person asks why these women are just coming out now, I am going to take a huge period shit in their mouth.

Did she just get owned by Don fucking Lemon? Oooh, honey.

Please please Mark Cuban. I’ve never asked you for anything. This is all I want.

Wait. So the kid was like “I have a STEM degree, where is my job?” and Trump was like, “What if you assembled iPhones? Wouldn’t that be cool?”

Don-descending?

Tiffany,

Hillary practiced her lines, Donald snorted his.

super hella fragile racist extra #Bragadocious

thesaurus on tape, maybe

Fuck Jimmy Fallon.

Anybody else finding themselves sighing frequently, not enjoying things, like ice cream, as much, constantly feeling on the verge of unexpected violent tears? Anyone else get queasy when they turn on the news, cynical when they open their Facebook and wary when strangers start talking in a doctor’s waiting room that…

My take was, Pence was bitterly disappointed at how his actions in Indiana at the beginning of the election cycle led to his fundraising vaporizing, and party bigwigs talked him out of running himself. He probably sat back through the nomination process wallowing in schadenfreude, and when (as he sees it) the nominee…

“There’s a lot of women out there that demand that the husband act like the wife...”

Oh — Emirjeta Xhelili? Of the Mayflower Xhelilis?

My 2 dachshunds would probably kiss and jump on any intruder, bring him the flashlight and show him to the valuables.

I was in Dubai last year for work. Here’s the little friend I made:

She is a despicable human being. Fuck her. Oh, hey everyone!!! Today’s non Ann Coulter update (that worthless piece of shit): It’s 5:08 PM in Dubai and the Heat Index is currently 121 degrees, or as the rest of the world says, 50 Fahrenheit. You could easily roast Ann Coulter on a spit in this weather. Also, here’s a…

We need to be strong enough to fight it off.

replace all cops w dachshunds