“Ow. Ow! OW! Knock it off you guys!”

They’re better than the Cards or the Mets, but absolutely not.

Man, I was 15 the first time the Braves weren’t playing in the postseason. Conversely, there were 20 year old Pirates fans who hadn’t seen their team go to the postseason. Baseball’s fucked up.

What are the odds that he drives himself to Palm Desert for these haircuts, on account of the aforementioned cheapness?

Thank you for that interesting and unique take, NYGiantsBlowDonkeys

What makes it even funnier is that if Papelbon had “quit” on his team, they likely would have won the game.

This was my favorite player quote (and I was honestly surprised it wasn’t mentioned), especially due to it being directly above Nitkowski’s spiel about how these anonymous player quotes were objective takes.

Junior year of college, my roommate (jacked dude in ROTC) comes back from a frat party at around 4 AM absolutely wasted. He thinks that my bed is his bed, and bulls me out of it. He’s passed out, and I’m just left sitting by my computer, angry and waiting for him to get up. An hour or so passes, and he’s got to piss…