It's sort of like when former dictators get placed under house arrest. Except he has access to all his financial assets. And uh, he can leave his house. Analogies are difficult.

Annie's pretty young, we try not to auctionize her

Pictured: Ben Stein, age 14.

*starts reciting ABCs backwards*
Cop: Not my tempo
*repeat for 10 minutes*

It's also gotta be a slap in the face to old school, salt-of-the-earth sex offenders who got results with persistence and hard work. These slacker sex offenders today, just looking at where the kids are checking in on Facebook. Time was when you couldn't do everything sitting in front of a computer. You had to do it…

Saget ain't so!

This is all part of a larger effort by both studios to bring the leads together and recreate the classic comedy duo Holland and Hardy.

The first one is aggressively, infectiously dumb, and I enjoy it if I'm in the right mood. It also has one of my favorite bits of science-sounding nonsense of any movie ever ("You need to move past Fourier transforms and start thinking quantum mechanics!" Very funny if you know anything about quantum mechanics, but…

He didn't get paid anything. The Transformers franchise is a labor of love, and all box office returns and actors' salaries have gone to non-profits supporting less fortunate robots.

Nice to know those murderous orangutans still found work. One of them became the president!

I love The Karate Kid so much. I can watch it endlessly. It's utterly and completely formulaic, but there's so much quiet charm and unusual relationship-building in the central performances that it feels fresh, and the montages are directed with a lot of style (and an impossibly '80s soundtrack). And I kind of wish my…

"At the tender age of 69 …"

It may not be as repeatable and consistently applicable as "No. It's the children who are wrong." But "Justice is not a frivolous thing, Simpson. It has little if anything to do with a disobedient whale" is still my favorite Skinner line of all time.

No one gets credit for co-writing "Imagine." They get blame.

I doubt this is the last time we'll see the "Leave Fat Albert out of this" tag.

Yeesh, if you're gonna feel sorry for anyone in a loveless marriage, feel sorry for me! It wasn't always like this. My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met!

With a name like "David Bonderman" he probably uses all that money to post bail for sex offenders.

Some motherfuckers are always trying to price Blade uphill.

The point being, covering any kind of "new" artist in newswires - big, small, niche, whatever - is kind of a thankless job here, whether or not there's any controversy surrounding them.

Probably has to do with it being much older than Kroll Show; they've been doing Gil and George since 2005 or 2006.