If you depend on a narcissist for food, water, bathroom breaks, hygiene, healthcare, exercise, a home, proper sleep, safety, guidance, not putting you in terrifying positions for their own gratification, and just your overall general well-being while having your dire situation compounded by the fact you also don’t…

Malala is my chance encounter with greatness. She was on the same trans-Atlantic flight as me a few years ago. Once in the airport, she was escorted by a small but intense-looking security team, and I thought I wouldn’t see her again.

“Micro-scandal” makes me feel like going to the nearest Whole Foods and slapping the first person I see.

I yelled at my kid and took a sip of pee just from reading her goddamn Instagram post.

I’m nearly 20 years older than her. Today I made to the gym for about 15 minutes. So, I’d we’re about even in terms of accomplishments.

To be fair, if I had to live with Lena Dunham I’d also be hostile and drinking my own piss.

All life is precious, except if you are a teenage girl who was raped in El Salvador.

Every time I get caught up in how bad things are in the US right now, I find it far too easy to forget how there are so many places in the world that have it far, far worse. I am embarrassed that I have to be reminded of that from time to time. The absolute hopelessness that humans have to face is our greatest shame…

So since we care about law and order so much there’s definitely an investigation into who raped her, and that guy is going to be arrested, yes?

LET ME AT ‘EM

What the fuck is that...thing in the middle of his stomach?!

That lady judge is a traitor to her gender and all that is good and fair.

How DARE you?! Otis had way more class and dignity!

Bannon’s Walking-Dead-extra complexion

Pure gold right there ;)

I can’t tell the difference between Bannon and Otis Campbell.

Prachi, there’s a Tumblr feed called “President Supervillain” that simply puts Trump quotes into scenes from comic books. It totally works.

Emma Stone gets nailed twice of course, being both a woman and Asian.