Presidents are technically allowed to strangle toddlers. It’s just been a long-held “norm” for presidents to abstain from such strangling.

I think Bill Cosby is available...

Nope, not at all — he was more like: here is the future of manufacturing blah blah and not, look I just got into office or I’m not yet in office yet my mere presence on earth has resulted in magical beautiful baby job creation.

Trump takes this shit to another level, but I have to add that Obama did a big jobs/technology event at a former employer of mine several years ago, and the opening of the celebrated structure is still yet to happen. The politicians are opportunists and the companies are too.

I saw this headline elsewhere and actually thought he was going to do something in the realm of victim advocacy. HAHAHAHA

Yeah a brush of the shoulder with his unwanted DICK. Jesus Christ I can’t.

The one who’s underwhelmed by their talent and got an office job.

Had to inoculate themselves against the inevitable “You didn’t give him a chance!” cries.

Wowzah. 23 previous convictions?? I thought we threw everyone in solitary for life after three strikes? Or three buds/ whichever comes first.

I’m ok with Seth but she has 1000x the charisma. Fallon is too unserious for these times. I want my humour served with raw satire and commentary thanks.

I’m just laughing that he wrote 5 and 0 “5 and O” because he uses phonetic spelling like a first grader and I’ve lost all capacity to get enraged again.

That’s all I could come up with. But no doubt everything will be served in mason jars and tin plates with a rosemary sprig stuck in whatever.

WHY DOESNT SHE HAVE HER OWN SHOW

If I end up married and my husband calls me “kiddo” and I call him “bud” I’m either blissfully happy or in a living hell.

Yes, it’s all relative, but from my perspective you’re doing heroic things. :) Your daughter has a wonderful role model!

Oh absolutely. One of the top 10 internet products of the 21st century imho. Thank you for giving me an excuse to read it again!!!

I make up fieri dishes in my spare time just for kicks. Maybe I’m dumb but it makes me laugh every time.

Damn damn damn. You are a hero and adoption just cements that. Hats off, salute, curtsy, holler, seen, props, word, yas yas yas, ad infinitum.

That Versace homesteaded in Florida just makes so much sense I don’t think I’ll ever need another sensical fact in my whole life to justify the universe.

Back in my dating years I did and said some dumb shit around non-white partners and the cringe I feel at having to relive those moments almost makes this too uncomfortable to watch. But hey my discomfort pales in comparison to just about everything so I can deal. I have a feeling the aversion to the cringe is…