ATTENTION EVERYONE

Gotta give it to you for cartoonists instead of contortionists but you’re not doing the BEST job impersonating me - you don’t have my speech patterns QUITE right and I’m not THAT stupid

That is an imposter you're speaking with

OMG douche that is NOT ME

That is a poser profile !!!

That is an imposter talking to you

Gin and grapefruit is an amazing combo but PLEASE

IMPOSTER PROFILE

GIRL that is an imposter

This is NOT ME. But I AM constipated

AND one more for the road before I fall asleep sitting up watching portlandia -

Hey pals!

You are SO cute! I'd love to have a fancy drink with you and your kitties! Happy new year !

HEY! I have a best friend that is a guy and we have had similar experiences to this - I can offer some insight from G’s possible perspective if you want!

My mom had the same memory lapse - today she ACCUSED ME of having to work tomorrow (well today) and refused to believe that New Year's Day was a Friday and that since it was the weekend I didn't have to work. I had to show her an actual calendar because she was too skeptical to possibly trust me

Oh my god I would just not give her back

OH SABRINA! Happy birthday baby girl! What a precious little pup - she looks like SUCHHHH a sweetie !

I read this as “buy ourSelf out of crappy underwear” at first and I was like damnnnnn you need 40K for that?

I like this theory

“Moral barometer” is my fav