Yes because that’s how horror movies start! When we lived in the woods, we were dumb enough to watch The Strangers (2008) one night. The next morning (while it was still dark out), Mr Safety was walking the dog before he went to work. He freaked out at every little sound in the woods. Justifiably so.

Bathroom. I can’t even.

Sorry she does that. You don’t deserve it. There is help (I hope I’m not being presumptuous that it is a male-female relationship)

Mr Safety and I go by “Sometimes done is better than perfect.” For us, it never ends well to critique how the other person vacuums, does the dishes, mows the lawn, weeds, etc. If the chore is done that poorly, I re-do it when he is not around. Then we live happily ever after ;)

LOL the ol’ pennies in the fuse box trick. When I was a firefighter, I went to so many house fires because of it. 

LOL Mr Safety named them. We plan on rescuing a couple of dogs when I retire, and their names will be Ross and Raynor (his favorite golf course architects).

True.

Great article! Obligatory photo of the current two feline overlords Birdie (calico) and Bogey (grey tabby). Birdie is a love bug lap cat, and Bogey wants whatever Birdie has. We rescued Birdie in 2013 and Bogey last year.

Great article! I’m retiring in 6 years, 9 months, and 1 week (but who’s counting). I’ve just started paring down my stuff. I love finding new homes for it among my friends and coworkers (or donating it if no one else wants it). And, I’ve so many plans for all my time: Sleep, projects around the house, gardening,…

We all come to the table with our own set of knowledge, skills, and experiences. Just because I’ve learned something does not mean everyone has. There’s a reason it’s called “Common Knowledge” instead of “Common Sense.” No one is born knowing to not touch a hot stove. At some point, they were told or they touched it.

I hate watermelon, too! Yay!

Mr. Harriot, I love your prose. xoxo

I remember being at Disney world as a little kid and they did the silhouette cut outs of your profile (like a lamp and piece of paper on the wall). The “artist” shaved the bump off my brother’s nose and made it smaller. Our mother went ape shit and made them re-do it until she was happy. At the time, we were SO…

I’ve invested time at the gym. At 5:00 a.m. before I go to work. Ugh but it is the first frog I eat of the day.

I like this! I have chronic pain and this will help explain it to Mr Safety (who is very supportive, just gets confused sometimes about how much I can do from one day to the next).

This. Every monthly visit with my dad and his wife used to devolve into hard feelings and awkwardness. So, I started to lay ground rules (like no Faux News nor Rash Limburger) while I was there but even the local news has stories that are obviously about racist police.

Yes. People are stupid. One of the reasons I have a job (as Mr Safety likes to remind me after a bad day at work).

IKR! I hate that new condescending “okay” before every.single.direction ugh