he was merely a tool

And btw fuck Larry Bud Selig! A true commissioner (see Giamatti, Vincent, and even Kuhn) would have looked out for the best interests of the game. This asshole did nothing but act in the best interest of baseball’s owners at every turn and, in the process, whored out any and every element of baseball he could.. I’m…

I think Kyrie has legitimate reasons to be pissed off at Lebron. Lebron thinks that the world revolves around him, which obviously isn’t true since the world is flat.

Patrick has been fired for not referencing the extensive real-world history of ballistas being used to kill flame-breathing magical lizards the size of 747s.

I liked this tweet.

+ two fiveheads

The only proper snack for sports is orange slices you can turn into faux mouth guards. My child will have unfettered access to orange slices and be the least scurvy child on the field. Eat that shit, other parents!

+1776

Four million dollars per year per team? Why, the Sabres could use that to sign another terrible defenseman, or a goalie who can’t make it out of Rochester. Imagine the possibilities!

I am all for calling attention to the White Sox many inadequacies, but this happens to most teams once a week or so. This just seems cruel.

Mary Simmons, fuck Rovell and kill, myself

Marry Simmons, fuck Stephen A., kill Rovell

Fuck the Pens!

You gotta admit, the change from carrying the helmets to wearing them is probably a net positive.

“You gotta hand it to those dolphins, they just wanted it more.”

I’m willing to wager good money that this will not be in the top 20 bizarre things that happen in Walmart parking lots in Florida in 2018.

Can’t imagine he’s very Jung Ho about the whole thing.

Bartolo looks like he is literally transitioning into a cinnamon roll.

Who gives a shit what the rest of Illinois thinks?