Shamelessly stolen from the Reddit thread about this:

You get a solid, one-one-thousand, two-one-thousand, three-one-thousand count. If you haven’t started moving, or your brake lights haven’t at least flickered off by then, you get the horn.

I haven’t the foggiest idea what’s happening.

It’s called rear window. Next question, please.

David,

“Vanfucker, are you in need of assistance?”

That’s what HOAs are for. If you can’t stand the sight of a well-kept, expensive trailer in someone’s driveway, you should make your largest investment in a neighborhood where the HOAs motto is: “Absolutely no fun allowed, whatsoever!”

Only to stop you assholes who fly up from 2 miles back to squeeze into the space we left so we can stop without hitting you.

Things you should never do in a CVT vehicle:
1) Drive a CVT vehicle

I’m officially calling bullshit on this video. We’ve all been pranked. Let me show you by who (he’s in the video):

yeah but he only likes jeeps. broken jeeps to be precise.

“Officer gets pulled over for speeding, and you’ll never guess what the State Trooper does next..”

David, can you do me a favor? I’m reading Jalopnik on my phone and I only see 17 ads on this page. I think we can squeeze a few more in without breaking up the flow. Thanks!

Man. Girls aren’t real. They’re just something made up to get people to buy cars.

I don’t want a “kill Marcy Long” option. I want a “kick her ungrateful ass to the curb” option. Seriously, lady, if you hate this glorious golden wasteland utopia I’ve built - overflowing with free food, water, and electricity - guarded both by automatic systems and by several of the toughest SOBS to ever wander the…

mfw reading the replies

This is like comparing Adam West to Christian Bale Batmans. The correct answer is both kick ass.

I PAID FOR THIS DREMEL AND DAMMIT I’M GONNA USE IT