That hallway looks like the Fortress of Solitude.

“The Tingler is in your row!!! Scream! Scream for your lives!! Just don’t tweet about it after the show.”

“...The Aristocrats!”

Or by, you know, wrapping it. Seriously. How hard can it be to carry a few condoms in your wallet when you know you’re going out to try to get laid? He’s way too old for this kind of irresponsible nonsense.

The tactic of just saying “this is an unconstitutional coup and we won’t participate in it” has played really well with Trump’s base. I can’t imagine any reason for the administration to participate at this point, strategically speaking. They can only do themselves harm, because they’re obviously all guilty as sin.

I just wanted to say this is a beautifully thought-out and gorgeously written piece. Thank you for sharing it.

“Hi, this is Kimberly with Heaven Services! We are calling to give notice of divinely-inspired political activity on your account...”

Yup. Like, God literally kills Job’s wife and children on a *bet* with Satan, knowing that Job is a good, devout man and wondering what it would take to turn him bad.

That just infuriates me. There are only a few clinics nationwide that will provide such late-term abortions, and even they only do it in extreme cases like the pregnant woman being dangerously ill or the fetus having severe deformities that will give them no chance at life (or only a short, painful life). And it costs…

I always just wonder what “on demand” means. The pregnant woman...asked for an abortion? I mean, what’s the alternative? Do they think providers are just going around performing abortions on women who didn’t ask for them?

I’ve read some books about the Romanovs and I don’t know that I agree Nicholas II was an awful man. As far as I can see, he was a basically kind person who was dragged into the monarchy kicking and screaming - he really didn’t want to be tsar, didn’t feel he was up to the job, which turned out to be 100% correct. His…

And Kaiser Wilhelm II looked just like the both of them.

All I can think about is Randy Newman’s “I Love L.A.”:

I think it’s wrong to throw something at someone, no matter how much of an asshole they are. And it is indeed illegal, and should be.

Yes, it does.

I live in the American South and heard people use it occasionally in the ‘70s and ‘80s when I was a kid. Sadly, it’s not just problematic because of the n-word: it refers to something “undesirable” or “dangerous” being hidden in an ordinary place you wouldn’t expect. I have not heard anyone use it here in years,…

Yup, because none of the Trumpers would believe that. They’d say he was murdered by the Clintons and then his body was posed on the toilet and actresses (hired by George Soros, natch) were paid to pee on him.

I’m just gobsmacked by Andrew’s insistence that he continued his close friendship with Epstein (attending intimate dinner parties? repeatedly staying at his house??) because to do otherwise, just because Epstein had turned out to be a rapist and sex trafficker, would have been...rude.

The Goop skincare products always amuse me in the same way celebrities doing haircolor commercials amuse me. I mean, I’m not saying Paltrow never uses such products at home, but surely her skin at her age is much more attributable to (a) genetics and (b) regular visits to high-end dermatologists and facialists, likely…

Those little Korean exfoliating mitts are the bomb, too. They’re super cheap and they last forever. No need for expensive scrubs that are just going to go down the drain.