I think you’re confused.

Iniesta: [slaloms]

There once was a man from Nantucket

Really? “On during a work day” is a reason why you don’t get to see the Champions League? Your work day consists of writing stories about pants shitting.

Look, I can't stop buying D-Rose gear, my job requires a suit and tie.

And some of his podcast listeners are blind, but you don’t see them bitching about not being able to read his shitty-ass columns.

Yes

How come she doesn’t get a headline? What a great athlete and she didn’t punch anyone out in a rink or take steroids to do it like the rest of the morons on your homepage today.

There once was a lifter named Tom
Who went at his task with aplomb
Took the bar off its pegs
And exploded his legs
And I still don’t give a shit about weightlifting

Mark Cuban Says College Basketball Drew Magary is Hideous and Unwatchable

I was relieved to learn the headline was discussing two completely separate topics.

He definitely cut himself.

There's a second valve, to adjust huge dicks.

"It's in you, how can you be running"

Dad?