"I don't remember horsecrap pitcher's"

For real, this is bullshit...

Ugh. Just go to a smaller school, kick a lot of division IIA ass (and probably smoke a lot of free weed), get a good play reel, go to 'bama for your final season and get drafted in the 4th round AND STOP COMPLAINING YOU FUCKIN' BABY

a LIVE shark? was lightning crashing?

Wait, what?

Holy shit shut up

Yeah, true. I still really want hockey here, though. It'd be an awesome compliment to Seahawks and Sounders die-hards to have a 3rd team to go nuts for!

I feel like dying.

Isles to BK, Oilers to Seattle. Fun year for hockey so far!

"In an ideal world, farts would smell like Febreze"

I love the exaggerated floppy "OW MY EARS" dude.

French toast is gross.

I've been using my 2nd Gen daily for years and years and years. Old faithful.

Didn't the NFL purposely have no announcers for a game? I seem to remember this happening.

I'm fairly positive that reverse psychology and underselling has played a large part in wooing every one of my lady friends so far. Whatever works. Contrary to my snarky internet presence, I'm a nice guy. I have maybe a carry-on of baggage (as opposed to the standard steamer trunk of baggage most people have), but if…

Look, washing clean pots and pans is fucking hard work. Cut him some slack, Jack.

Best, Sad Dave

Where have you gone, Tyler Palko? The man for the job.

I think she's saying that he shoots three lusty, silky ropes when he ejaculates onto her belly chain-ed belly. Right?

Go Seahawks