I love beautiful handwriting, and secretly judge people with ugly handwriting — I'm already sad that I see so little of it.

WHAT?! I do not like this story at all. How can they not read cursive?

I felt as though it was sarcastic.

Here's my thing as a fat woman.

And there it is. Be vegan if you want, but don't tell me it is a natural state for the human body if you have to supplement your diet to avoid nutritional deficiencies. I will even grant that, done properly, it will lead to better health than the average human diet. But it is not how humans were designed to eat.…

I have seen things that cannot be unseen. And by "things" I mean duck penis. I can't see a duck without thinking about corkscrew, necro, homosexual duck rape. *Any readers that don't know wtf I'm talking about, consider yourself an innocent.

And damn yo, we BOTH have prehensile tails now!

I'm very pleased with my new cloaca too. Not to mention my shiny exoskeleton!

GODDAMMIT. Being vegan to lose weight is so, so off base in principle, and will be abused in practice. Veganism requires careful control and supplementation in your diet or else it will result in awful deficiencies. It is not a fucking weight loss plan. It may cause weight loss, but it is not the goddamned Master…

PETA makes me want to morph into a tyrannosaur and eat all the animals on Earth, even non-food animals like hippos and seagulls, just to spite them.

I have wings AND gills?!?

1. I fucking hate PETA. I will eat meat until I die just to piss them off. Also because chicken is yummy, and tofu is disgusting.

Let's see. A Christmas, we eat honey baked ham, turkey (my family doesn't, but some do), a lot of the same side dishes, etc. And a lot of fancy Martha Stewart-y deserts. If you're fancy, you do a Christmas goose.

I love colcannon! You can totally come to my Thanksgiving dinner anytime. ANY. TIME.

That sounds freaking delicious. We don't eat mashed potatoes for thanksgiving but we have yams. I would tear those potatoes of your up though. If potatoes ruined her holiday than she is a complete moron.

I think you should demand that they submit to a piss test before they get their free turkey dinner.

I think a core lack of understanding on behalf of Kang is that obesity in this country is heavily (haha) tied to socioeconomic status. Being healthy in this county is expensive. Knowing how to cook a well rounded meal and how to circuit train is something of a luxury to grow up knowing.
When you have little money and…

That was my intent — you can read the worst bits here without clicking on any Return of Kings link, and then never think of the site ever again.

It IS cathartic to hate-read, but you did that for us here, and now we have absolutely no reason to give them any site traffic at all. Let's make a pact that NONE OF US will EVER go there, EVER EVER FOREVER.