Chili is already my go-to “I have no energy to cook” meal. Brown some ground meat, toss in beans and diced tomatoes, add a few spices. If that’s too much work for you, I don’t know what to tell you. Going to Wendy’s and buying their chili is literally more work.

Wait, they’re NOT supposed to wobble? I don’t think I’ve ever seen one that didn’t!

If an adult asks to borrow my phone, I assume that the first thing they want to do is run off with it. If a child asks to borrow my phone, I assume their parents don’t know about handheld gaming devices. Either way, I’m not obligated to hand over expensive personal electronics that I’m not likely to get back intact.

I’ve never been able to get a good stock from a tissy chicky carcass. I think a lot of the flavor gets cooked out of the bones and into the meat.

I swear by bone-in skin-on chicky thighs. Bone-in meats are always tastier.

I like to blend up onions, garlic, and mushrooms and stuff the resulting mix under the skin of thighs, then smear the outside with a spice paste and roast them up. Yum.

Lawns waste water and look boring.

Historically, the baby became crucially malnourished and frequently starved to death.

I make popcorn on the stove, so I bust out the bottom of the salad spinner, which has holes for letting water out. Dump the popcorn in there, shake, watch kernels fall.

Due to Facebook’s “don’t ever unload any part of the feed” bit, my lappy struggled with 8GB. 16GB was a massive improvement. So was swapping my HD for a SSD.

This is a variation on something some Congresscritter said that was disproven for the very reason you just said. Bobby here likely saw no such thing.

The bacteria may have left behind something heat-stable that could possibly make you sick. I wouldn’t risk it.

Or just well-season a carbon steel pan.

Mayo on hot dogs: I can see that.

Troll 2 isn’t “so bad it’s good.” It’s just BAD.

I went to a wedding where one of the guests broke up with his girlfriend because he didn’t like an entire day going by without him being the center of attention. I mean, the relationship was on the rocks anyway, but he could’ve been polite and waited a day.

Long version has a keypad which is good for entering your passcode because Xbox d-pads like to register more than one direction at once.

Long version has a keypad which is good for entering your passcode because Xbox d-pads like to register more than…

“I’ve got the same combination on my luggage!”

You clearly have never worked at a job where self-assurance was something the boss perceived as a threat.

ANY GIVEN MEL BROOKS MOVIE. They tend to do poorly in theaters, but they become cult classics.

The Treaty of Tripoli explicitly states that America was not founded as a Christian nation. This was to avoid Muslim nations seeking revenge for the Crusades.