The next plaintiff is Vigo the Carpathian.

Butter don’t melt on cold corn. Checkmate.

The problem with this approach is that I’m afraid I’ll get “to defeat and humiliate you, regardless of the facts” all too often.

It’s official: 4chan and reddit are actively trying to hijack all kids’ shows and corrupt them horribly. You can’t Google “My Little Pony” without getting furry porn.

I had teachers using homework as an excuse to not really teach. Busywork to drill the lesson into the head without real engagement. And my parents were stupid about it, with their “get the hardest subject done first” bit. I was very bad at math, so I’d be sitting at the kitchen table from supper to bedtime, struggling…

As if my homemade chicken stock wasn’t good ENOUGH. I shall try this.

And then there’s the bit where they don’t ask you what you succeeded at. Showing that they don’t expect you to succeed. Great recipe for a healthy adult. NOT.

Which generation came up with the concept of giving out participation awards, again?

If you don’t have a kitchen scale, get one. As a matter of fact, get all the power tools you damn well please for your kitchen. You’ll use them.

I refuse. I don’t want language being re-written by people who don’t understand it.

Also, “Every Step You Take.”

I shall make my own nuggets to defy your love of McDonald’s! ;)

The problem with wearing long pants to the office is that it necessitates cranking the AC. Which makes the women (who are dressed in seasonally-appropriate clothing) freeze. Necessitating THEM to bring a blanket.

If your Fidget Cube did not come from Antsy Labs, it’s a knock off. If your knockoff looks exactly like the original, or if it calls itself a “Fidget Cube,” it is an ILLEGAL knockoff (both name and design are copyrighted).

Bandit Plate FTW!

Don’t make them a frozen lasagna. EVERYONE makes a grieving family lasagna and they end up hating lasagna because they associate it with their time of intense grief (does the name Pavlov ring a bell?). Make ANYTHING BUT a lasagna. Coordinate with others if you can to make sure you don’t accidentally make them hate…

I have kosher salt in my kitchen for reasons other than cleaning pans.

Everyone loves my Vampire Killer Mac and Cheese. (it has a lot of garlic)

I wonder if I’d have to add to the fridge time to prep these Chaliapin style (that’s where you lightly score both sides and then sandwich it in chopped onion... wrap it up and park it in the chill chest for an hour, then cook as you see fit). Chaliapin style turns a medium-rare ribeye into something Grandpa doesn’t…