Use firm tofu. Slice lengthwise into 4 equal parts. Set on baking sheet lined with paper towel. More paper towels on top, then another baking sheet. Weigh down with something like a couple of cans of beans or whatnot. Leave it the hell alone for half an hour. Make a marinade (can’t go wrong with BBQ sauce, apple cider…

All that talk about a pressure cooker, and you advise making stock in a regular pot? I make stock in my PC. An hour at 15psi, let it depressurize naturally. Chill fast with like a gallon zip top bag of ice or something (you do NOT want this stuff warming up your fridge!). Most of it gets frozen in the ice cube trays…

My meals generally are 3-part: protein, starch, veggie. The veggie is usually something relatively simple, and it’ll likely get cold first, so I do it last. Whenever I pick a new recipe, I give myself extra time to do it (don’t trust the recipe’s time, that’s how long it takes someone experienced to make it) until I…

Protein: Chaliapin steak. Unheard of outside of Japan. Russian opera singer Feodor Chaliapin was touring Japan and had a toothache after a performance. He requested the hotel make him a tender steak. Here’s the basics:

Get a steak. Rib eye is my go-to. Score lightly on both sides in a crosshatch pattern. Finely chop an…

I keep homemade chicken stock on hand, so I can enjoy instant ramen without involving that salt lick of a “flavoring packet.” Boil noodle brick in stock, add a bit of pre-grated ginger, spash of soy sauce, one egg (egg drop ramen!), any leftover meat. Finish with frozen veggies, to cool to edible temperature.

You know those dried mushrooms they sell in the grocery store? I grind those up into a powder. I blend anchovy filets into my pasta sauce. You’d never know they were there, but they add a kick.

Grocery shopping is a great way to be frugal. Chicken is cheaper whole than pre-cut, so buy a whole bird and chop it up yourself. This has the additional advantage of leaving you with the backbone: great for making stock! Never buy oversalted chicken stock again!

Not me. I’m the guy who keeps hitting up Snopes whenever something sets off my bullshit detector.

Now I have to eat a bacon cheeseburger in Morrissey’s name.

Bah. Doubt there’s a parole board out there who wants to be known as the people who let OJ Simpson out early.

Assuming that this won’t pass is like assuming that Trump wouldn’t get elected... it causes people to slack off, and then suddenly we’re all screwed.

Ya know what doggos like? Fish sauce. That smelly, super-strong stuff you get in the Asian section of your supermarket. Dogs just LOVE smelly stuff. Brush a little of that on the doggy biscuits and bake it dry. STORE IN A DOUBLE-BAGGED AIRTIGHT CONTAINER. Trust me, your dog will tear apart whatever he has to if he…

Which DLC give him his damn hat back?

Doesn’t turning off voice purchasing defeat the purpose of the device? Why own it at all?

I’ll just travel by train. Wee bit harder to steer one into a skyscraper, so security isn’t over the top.

Came here to say this. Old guy in a kitchen taught me it.

It’s still an alarm you can turn off from your bed. Which means you’ll go right back to sleep and miss whatever you turned it on for.

AKA, the primary subplot of Zombieland.

My mom would dump the oil out because she thought it was unhealthy. My childhood was filled with the worst peanut butter sandwiches ever. Ever spread too-cold butter on untoasted sandwich bread? Same deal.

What is this “extra” celery you speak of? I use all of mine up.