Ask Marla Maples. She hates Trump, right?

But I washed my legs before I stopped shaving them. They get dead skin built up and then they get itchy and gross.

No. Because by having them all you aren’t normal. Which was the point.

My 14yo niece was wearing a black plastic braided choker to dinner the other day.

One New Year’s Eve, when the neighbor kids and I were just old enough to have our own party but not old enough to think “we should get wasted,” I found my mom’s vibrator.

Vesta Rose?

Mauve.

IF I FITS I SITS.

We trim our cats nails...which we didn’t start until they were old enough that I don’t know why they tolerate it. But watching Sir Ziggy Dickface Stardust, Esq. Scooby on furniture after trimming when he tries to claw things is never not funny.

The boot looks like something a doctor would give you after you sprain your ankle.

We have 4 pillows on the bed. Since we get cheap pillows $5-$10/each, yeah, they need replacing about one to two times a year.

We have 4 pillows on the bed. Since we get cheap pillows $5-$10/each, yeah, they need replacing about one to two…

I may have fanned myself a little.

Sometimes movies can take years to be released after they’re made. Or if they’re ever released.

Interesting. I hadn’t considered that.

The house that best reflects my insides would be small and colorful as well.

Mizzou is actually a big journalism school.

His sister is married to Beck.

*waits patiently for Beck to leave as well*

What you took from me telling you I wasn’t using a browser and therefore couldn’t use an ad-blocker was that I secretly meant thank you for pointing out the most obvious thing to me like you’re my mother reminding me how to wipe my own ass?

I’ll take Kid Cudi over Kanye any day.