Already exist. There’s commercial systems that use electric pumps, better seals. Some even purge with nitrogen. But there’s oxygen dissolved in the wine after open that would take considerable hoops to remove. So you’re getting weeks. Nothing will return it to the unopened state. 

Beyond that once opened air/oxygen becomes dissolved in the wine. The pump can not remove that. That takes purging with inert gas, time, and considerable shaking. 

It’s essentially a bitter/amaro. Though only flavored with wormwood.

It will degrade faster than plain spirits. But that isn’t “going bad”. It’s gonna lose some of it’s wormwoody goodness. 

I realize the dogma is a year or two

That’s actually incorrect. Buying physical art generally doesn’t convey copyright to that art. The buyer of a painting can not generally sell copies of that painting.

It wasn’t even a first edition Dune book.

How is that any different than regular registration, licensing and serial numbers?

I’d guess hoax of exposure targeted at uncritical reporting by press release.

This “very good” hoax involved setting up a basic website, and tossing out a press release.

And our writer here “uncovered” the truth with a pretty basic level of due diligence after they uncritically published that press release.

Discounting the liqueurs, gin, and flavored stuff.

I’d say this is all wrong.

Distilled/age liquor like whiskey or rum is insanely stable stuff. Open or not. Yes it can oxidize and there’s an outside chance that makes it actively unpleasant and obviously things will evaporate. But I’ve polished off a bottle whiskey…

Definitely in Philly. And I’ve been noticing more and more places openly pushing other options than Amoroso’s. I got a friend down here who picks his super market based on whether they carry better options.

Also this

Uuuh. Might wanna check with an actual lawyer on this one.

Most deli counters will sell you the heel of the prosciutto. They tend to set them aside, as they don’t slice super well. I’ve been to a couple of Italian markets that wrap them and sell them by default at a slightly lower price. 

The important part is hunks of pork sticking to/mixing with the pasta.

Bit of a problem with the prosciutto I mentioned above actually. You need to make sure to cut it quite small or it kinda sinks to the bottom for some reason.

Have you ever been to an Elk’s Lodge?

Texas chili. The entire chili fight boils down to Texas being unwilling to acknowledge anyone else’s version, or even it’s own history, as valid. Texas chili itself has also been completely warped by the competition chili scene, and often isn’t even a particularly good representation of itself.

Having been a bartender for a very long time. Maybe.

But only pretty recently, and in particular contexts. You’re average Italian restaurant, barely anyone is calling and Old Fashioned ever. College shot bar? Insanely unlikely. This is not what Applebees and TGIFriday’s core customer are thinking of after a shift.

The resulting pork bits are a little chewier, so try to cut them small. But it works real gud. Just remember you need a good amount of olive oil, enough to replace the amount of fat that would render from the equivalent amount of a fatty bacon product. 

It doesn’t matter if it’s crumbled or chopped.

Bar Rescue is a great example of how inept and unknowledgeable people in the restaurant business can be. Jon Taffer has been recreating that one New Jersey lounge right off the turnpike he saw in the 90's his whole career.