I DON'T WANNA SEE YOUR GODDAMN SHITTY DATSUN WHEN I'M SEARCHING FOR GARDEN GNOMES!!!

the Ford Bronco (1st generation) has it beat 10 times over, when did the scout ever win the baja 1000? To be honest though bringing a scout or a bronco to Philly would be like owning a race horse in Siberia. Sure you have one of the most capable vehicles ever built, but what's the point.

Ok, this is a "sub-suggestion." I think you should by a car from Europe that meets the 25 year import exemption rule. Then, you get a trip to Europe to check it out, you can detail all the fun times you have (read: entertaining hassles) importing it and maintaining it, and then selling it, preferably back to Europe.…

Old-school Rolls Royce is actually a great suggestion. They're so cheap you won't give a shit about street parking it, the hell it will give you will be hilarious for us to read about, and you won't attract too much attention because they don't stick out that much.

EBAY: RALLY FIGHTER

There is only one answer for the next car, Demuro.

How about a Citroën DS? I found you one on Auto Trader Classics for $39,500. BOOM. Way under budget.

Doug, the answer is obvious: The Nissan Murano CrossCabriolet. Preferably in seafoam green, tan top, tan interior.

Any obituary that begins with a Monty Python reference is destined for greatness.