Because he strung some words together that could maybe kinda be construed as a joke, but mostly just seems like a stupid insult of a sports team, Matheny is being sued for impersonation by the Deadspin comments.

Yes, I hate when other people know things. What fucking assholes.

And the on-deck circle for switch hitters is right behind the catcher.

No douche. Repping team gear (that just happpens to make you look homeless) when you know the media is trying to figure out your job status is hilarious.

Politics has nothing to do with hating hearing about Tebow, or hating that Tebow gets a free ride to suck ass at baseball, taking roster spots from countless other minor league actual-baseball-players just so whatever franchise can sell some jerseys and tickets to Tebow sheep.

fucking Christians. You fuckers eat the “body and blood of Christ.” I am way more afraid of cannibals than I am of Muslims practicing their faith.

AH YES THE TRIED AND TRUE METHOD OF EVALUATING SOMEONE’S MORAL STANDING IN THE COMMUNITY BY HAVING A 4 YEAR OLD WHO LACKS NUMEROUS COGNITIVE ABILITIES, HAS ONLY RECENTLY GRASPED OBJECT PERMANENCE, AND DOESN’T LIKE THE TASTE OF BOURBON DETERMINE IF THEY LIKE THE PLAYER

“But it’s a *dry* indifference”

Guess what Edith? In the future, your vote is going to count exactly the same as a current 5 year old boy who says “Look what I have” while holding a piece of his own poop in his hand.

Five?!?! Fu-uck. I just texted my wife and told her to throw the PS4 in the fireplace. Those kids are hitting the books when I get home.

This is good news for Ezeli, but I am sad to hear about Greg Oden’s passing.

Because I am employed by the Trump administration.

I am not, in fact, a marshal who serves notices of eviction.

That’s Tomatoface.

I think you’ve got to rebuild. This year is obviously lost, so you’ve got to think about 2018. Curry isn’t fitting in with Durant. Might I suggest a straight up Curry for Carmelo Anthony trade in the offseason?

... and then getting hit over the head with the Korbel.

Are we all just gonna ignore that the kid was attacked by a fucking Minotaur?!?!

This would still sell on AutoTrader for $35k.

now that’s how you record cell phone video.

“... hit a set of spike strips going 115 MPH, subsequently barreled off of the road and into a drainage ditch, launched the truck into the air and landed on a car parked at a restaurant”