1.) If you buy a vehicle based off how much it costs to repair body damage, maybe you should re-think how you drive or re-think about driving all together.

Time for bullet points so you all can mock me over the course of the afternoon.

@DougDeMuro is the author of Plays With Cars. He owned an E63 AMG wagon and once tried to evade police at the Tail of the Dragon using a pontoon boat. (It didn't work.) He worked as a manager for Porsche Cars North America before quitting to become a writer, largely because it meant he no longer had to wear pants.…

Whenever a Jalopnik article feels just a wee bit too perfect, I have to scroll up and see if Doug is the author.

I don't disagree that this is a spectacular car, and I also prefer my BMWs to be as simple and as light and as naturally-aspirated as possible... But at the same time, I hate the "this is the last great [whatever] ever built, because modern things are new and scary and different and not as good" bullshit.

If the guy truly had a gun, the driver wouldn't have had a chance. That lethargic BRZ acceleration would've been like shooting a stationary target.

*The most American car Canada makes

50/50 weight distribution, RWD, manual, supercharged small block, fun to drive, reliable... basically everything that Audi isn't :/

Oh God. This guy again...

So does your mom.

It takes weeks. And not just casual 15 minutes here and there, but hours. You will commit time and energy to this if you're not going to get screwed.

I wanted a Talon TSI so bad in high school. I'm sure it would have gotten me laid, I'm SURE OF IT.

Is it just me, or are Caterhams ridiculously overpriced? A barebones drivetrain-less car shouldn't be getting close to the cost of a new corvette.

While the thought of having oodles of vehicles (and a garage for them) was appealing I kind of want to find a different direction. Why not start a small dealership (of your choice...preferably for fun affordable cars after the Jalopnik reader model of excellence) and explode the dealer model.

1) Use a chunk to buy several acres of land.

Audi allroad. Every service or replacement requires you to take the entire front of the car off. Want to change the thermostat? It will end up looking like this:

*Walks into Auto Zone*

Definitely an ambitious undertaking. I saw these at the Dallas Cars and Coffee this last time. And did not mean to post the same one twice...

On an unrelated note, I would love to see each of the big 3 post a ring lap time for a 1 ton dually.

This is why I won't buy one!!!! I'm getting a Corolla instead.