Narrator: It wasn’t a boat.

Well if you take the house you’re just puttin’ on airs. 

“But Rent-A-Center says it’s only $40 a month, that’s a steal!”

Drafting Barkley over a QB was like giving someone who lives in a trailer the choice between a new house or a giant, flat screen TV and the person choosing the TV.

I can only hope that Jerrah is holding his hand that way because he’s starting to get the Palsy. 

“They get summers off, what a bunch of lazy bums!!” is fairly common attitude.

This will be the one (and only)time Jimmy Garoppolo is sad he wasn’t traded to the Browns.

Now that’s how you grab the pussy.

Counterpoint: the comments section of any article where people working at McDonald’s are protesting and fighting for $15 an hour.

This tweet has been brought to you by the year 1945. 

hes really one of the finest examples of “dont leave too early bc you got bad advice from an agent”

Ovens just can’t pre-heat fast enough for this man.

I can’t believe he would tell such a bald-faced lie.

Man, Putin really doesn’t get enough credit for being such an accomplished ventriloquist.

The world missed a golden opportunity to see who they hate more: Nazis or Jews.

In general I’m against soccer hooliganism, especially Russian soccer hooligans. But for these two, I’m willing to make an exception.

That’s because any state west of Ohio was surveyed using the Township and Range method, while the states that made up the original colonies used the old British method of metes and bounds.

If you’re going to be a corporate whore, at least have the decency to be an honest corporate whore. It’s really that simple.

Big feet can cause the occasional problem.

Goink