And kids know if they got a trophy for just showing up, because those trophies hang around for a week then get banished to a box in the closet.

I desperately want to find a time machine to go back and interview people like your friend who had just seen the movie.

I know one person who isn’t a suspect......

Every time I see something like this I wonder if these types of people go around yelling at anyone and everyone that they drive a Dodge Stratus.

It’s more of a destination than a mall, it has attractions like the theme park in the middle, and a giant aquarium that a generic mall will never have. 

That’ll happen when you take the Patriots and the Under.

Did any reporter ask Belichick why he opted for the field goal on 4th and 1 from the 8?

This is what happens when people completely misunderstand the joke behind Nihilist Arbys.

I am fairly certain he had started drinking when he mentioned that Patricia was going to be the head coach of the Pistons.

Townies across greater New England are now holed up in their basements going full “A Beautiful Mind” to definitely prove how biased the NFL is against the Patriots using these two plays.

Somewhere on the Internet there was a suggestion that President’s Day be moved to the day after the Superbowl. This might be the only idea that can unite the entire country.

I do not fish, and love my family dearly, but there have been weekends when the high is -20 and I’ve spent the whole time indoors staring at my family, and going to freeze my ass off on a frozen lake has *almost* sounded, well, fun isn’t the right word, but definitely less soul crushing than continuing to sit indoors…

Allowed in? Yes. Welcomed in? Depends on why you’re there I suppose. You may not have known you could join because you’re not their target audience, you know?

There are those groups but they’re not exclusively made up of only members of that group. I’m male, but I’m a member of a group that supports women Geoscientists. So if a white supremacist wants to join a group dedicated to supporting African American students they certainly can. It probably would not be the smartest…

Surly Bender is a solid choice for what you were doing.

Don’t worry, Rupert Murdoch is furiously sending Hannity and Tucker Carlson clips to him as we speak!

“Did you know there’s 7 different words for ‘mayhem’ in the African language? It’s true, I read that somewhere.”

-Tony Henry

He’s totally not racist, he just casually throws around the phrase “African race”. What’s the big deal?

After fucking the flag throughout the first verse, does the Governor then spend the rest of the song cuddling, or does he just roll over and go to sleep?