If she’s truly THE ONE, she’ll turn away from sin, and hammer in the nail herself.

Even with this groundbreaking interview, we’re still no closer to finding out exactly when Clarence Thomas realized he was an old racist white man living in a black man’s body.

They both come from a proud line of centaurs.

Now he’ll get to spend more time at home w/ his favorite family members:

But, how would he hold his special nano bubbles water?

Where were ya—when Timothy Tebow nailed himself to a cross in the parking lot of a Fernandina Beach Steak & Ale because he didn’t know what else to do on a first date?

You’re right, “analyze” would have been a better choice.

There’s a strong chance he goes full on Howard Hughes and holes himself up in a room pissing into jars so his trainer can analyze it for impurities, or thetans, or strawberries.

You’ll always remember the first time you watched “2 Girls, 1 Cup”.

False Flag!!!

If Alex Jones says those boner, I mean, “male enhancement” pills work for him, then by cracky they must!!

Considering what went on at NFL Network, his interaction with these women seems quaint and old fashioned.

It’s destruction bred from the unholy union of flop sweat and desperation, not unlike a student who only answers “B” for every question on a multiple choice test, once they realize they only know the answer for the first 2 questions.

And your 2017 New York Yankees Employee of the Year is........Derek Jeter!!!

Found a picture of the suspects:

The important thing is, you made it.

I appreciate that, but it’s Saturday, I hope most people are out doing something productive and not reading Deadspin comments!

There’s a perfectly innocent explanation for this whole situation: he just wanted to ask Durant if he knew how to get to Temecula.

Favorite cryptozoology animal?

Has anyone ever gotten asked out on a date by a reader?