Those are my comics now. I own them. To argue otherwise means you hate creativity.

i just asked my friend if he would wear my hair in a ring if i died and he said "i would put u in my septum and that way u would be doing lines when i was doing lines"

Wrong. Do not EVER keep your socks on. *Shudder* Naked man in just socks is the most awkward thing ever in the history of ever. I have always and will always continue to demand the coordinated removal of socks with pants. If the pants come off, the socks come off. Period.

Pro tips:

1. No sleepovers. There are times when it works (really drunk late-night sex!), but otherwise, pull up your drawers and be on your merry way. Or send him on his. If you're the type who feel weird after casual sex, trust me: you'll feel less weird about it when there's no sleepover. There's less time for…

Conferences can be made fun no matter the topic. I once got sent to a conference with my older Christian coworker who carries a rape whistle everywhere she goes. I got three glasses of wine in that woman and she was telling me dirt about our colleagues that I NEVER could have learned anywhere else. Then she started…

Hah - yes. I'm a female engineer and while the goods are certainly odd, the odds are good. :)

Ha!! It's hilarious what they hold on to. Back in Sept, my mom brought Le Petit Comte to a petting zoo, where he saw a turkey. He tried to pet said turkey, which pecked NEAR his finger. Upon my return, the first thing he told me was "a turkey bit my finger." He repeated this over and over, unprompted. Then it became…

Whisper it to me. For some reason I REALLY want to know.

All us old women love Stevie Nicks.

Right? I'd totally use Tinder, if it came with a feature like "10 other women have rated this man 'not a creep or criminal'".

Can we institute a ban on people who don't have a PHD and several peer-reviewed published works in the field of genetics using any phrase along the lines of "X is/isn't wired that way"?

Birol Unel from Head-On (Gegen die Wand). Yep.

They look so blissfuly happy. Between the joy radiating out of their wise and loving faces, and their gorgeous bags, man I'm so jealous of the perfection that is they.

Kim, why do we wear heels and carry a finger painted Birkin bag when we accompany our husband taking out the trash? This is the kind of question you should be asking yourself.

ERMAGERD!!! Okay, so I work in the food industry and generally professional chefs do not cook at home on a regular basis. They slave away in the kitchen anywhere between 8-16 hours a day, so the last thing they'd want to do when they have some time off is cook in the kitchen.