"Wrong kid." - Donald Sterling

How Rovell has been so successful as a humorless robot is no small wonder.

that cat was as stoic as beyonce in an elevator

Good Kitty!

Are we so sure he wasn't just trying to combine all of his favorite things at once?

Someone posted either in comments or in an article this gem: Cowboys, Yankees, Lakers. If you're a fan of two of these three teams, there's a good chance you're a dick.

Paul McCartney played for the Celtics?

These trips don't always work. Manti Te'o was in shambles after a catfishing expedition last year.

Funny, a fishing trip is what ruined Bison Dele.

If God has a sense of humor, the computer will not play anything but Quiet Riot's "Bang Your Head".

"Walk-up Songs? Puh-leeze! That's not how I roll."

I really hope Michael Sam picks "It's Raining Men" as his song just to troll people.

Darren Rovell stores "How's My Driving?" hotline numbers in his Blackberry. Just in case.

Darren Rovell breaks into people's homes to see if they've removed the tag from their mattresses.

Best I ever had, best I ever had.

On the other hand ESPN's lawyers call stalking, sexual solicitation, and groping "hitting for the Tirico cycle."

Cowherd: First the Dougie, now the Hustle?!

The Bruins suggested that their racist fans should look in the mirror before spewing this garbage on Twitter. What kind of man — or woman — feels the need to unleash such racially-charged invective over the Internet, they asked.

You will never see Tweets like this from Flyers fans.