Kids' clothing that can be left on while the kid's being hosed down! Brilliant!

Freeman is the Allen stand-in. Woody would just have a cameo as Artie Goldblum, an amateur saxophonist on tour in Europe whose open-mic performance is cut short by topless German women.

That headline sounds like it could be a scene in a Woody Allen film. Woodwinds And Windfalls, starring Jennifer Lawrence, Martin Freeman, and featuring support and cameos from pretty much everyone. Coming this fall to theaters in select cities.

It obviously worked for you, Mr. Invincible Self-Esteem!

Yeah, but he probably really wanted to tell her that.

Lord, but the cynical pop culture backlash from this decade of dueling crisis cults is going to produce some great art. The political and economic scenes will probably have to be pretty dire, just like the last time we got together and had a Seventies.

Facebook, Twitter, or both for good measure?

Meh, some things are so pervasive in the culture that you absorb more information about them than you'd care to, despite never actively seeking them out. Ever live in a city that's passionate about a sport you don't enjoy watching? That's the experience of being a movie enthusiast in 2017 who's been tired of…

I feel ya. This must be what it was like not caring about Westerns in the late fifties and early sixties, sci-fi in the eighties, or professional sports any time ever.

There's nothing you can do!

I have to imagine every convent was half people who actually wanted to be there and half barely repressed horny teenagers.

"There were only a few flipper babies!"

I think you could apply that to any number of bands without assuming it suggests "millions" of their fans are intelligent.

Just teasing.

Just call it something different! I suggest "shmocialism."

"There are millions of intelligent people out there who also happen to be Iron Maiden fans"

1 mayor > 5 borough presidents > any number of community board members > that neighbor who's really behind the city council candidacy of someone whose resume includes "poet, life coach, and adventurer."

Thank you for backing up my point. The most exciting possibility at Disneyland is that your child might be eaten by one of the Los Angeles area's many wandering deranged persons. (They have those in Florida too, which is why Disney World operates as its own well-guarded state-within-a-state. If you skip the shuttle…

I see a lot of that in other parts of Florida, though. Cookie-cutter neighborhoods and an endless procession of big-box stores and strip malls flanking the same gridded four- or six-lane roads. A friend of mine lived in the Orlando area after high school, and it was like visiting East Lake or Trinity, except…

"Pinellas" is about as specific as I care to be on Disqus. Well, I'll add "not in St. Pete."