And patrolled by NYPD officers working for the city DEP, which is a strange sight when you're hiking with the family.

Upstate north of Saratoga Springs is quite nice, but it cheats by being a national forest.

I never heard of the Sox-Orioles thing either. I just assumed O's fans hated the Yanks because we Yankees fans basically take over Camden for nine games every season.

Everything about Montreal is superior to NYC

Or would rather drive through Vermont than upstate New York despite the extra time involved. The Jurress and I lived in VT for nine years, and were always struck by how upstate was like VT's evil twin.

I'm an early bird, which makes living in this city a treat.

I've traveled around the US a lot, and…New York is right on that one. The water is notably soft and drinkable without running it through a Brita.

In all fairness, I've never seen a BBQ joint here advertise "New York Barbeque," because that even sounds terrible to New Yorkers. They generally play up their owners' and chefs' Southern pedigrees.

A lot of the "the best such-and-such is from New York" is a numbers game. Sure, you can find sublime pizza and bagels here. You can also find a LOT of really shitty pizza and bagels here.

Well, halfway if you don't want to drive through upstate New York. And, really, who would?

Mmm…syrup.

The secret to 20th century "New York" ethnic foods is Long Island. When the local papers run articles bemoaning how high rents have forced out all the good little pizza, bagel, and deli places, they usually fail to mention that the owners move out to Nassau County.

I used to live halfway between New York and Montreal! It's called "Vermont," and it makes Connecticut look like hot garbage.

So please, New York, let us non-New Yorkers at least sample some of the other types of cuisine

Absolute, right where WEA splits off from Broadway around 107th. Cash only.

Dumbledore kneels and holds his arms open, palms heavenward

"Splorp?"

"Maybe"

That's Sukkoth. My wife moved to the city during Sukkoth a couple of years ago and asked me why so many nice balcony apartments had shanties on them.

We do that to prove that we're not Jewish, a "proud" tradition going back to Pope St. Gregory the Great that also explains our calendar.